Relationship advice usually comes in the form of don’ts. Don’t nag, don’t tell them to pick up their clothes, don’t remind them to take out the trash and complain when they don’t, don’t put blame. Well here’s a new one for you, don’t listen to any of the advice about the don’ts. Couples who focus on the do’s and who seek to increase the good in their relationship are happier and get along better than those who just focus on avoiding the negative.
Here are some do’s to perk up your relationship:
Be Grateful. Gratitude helps remind us of all the good qualities in our partner. Expressing gratitude towards the other person makes them feel better about themselves, which in return makes the relationship stronger.
Poke fun. When life gets serious is always fun to lighten up the mood by teasing your partner in a non hostile way. Couples who poke fun are happier and come to more peaceful solutions to their issues.
Celebrate the good. It’s always nice to have your partner’s shoulder to lean on during bad times but its also important to celebrate the good times too. Be enthusiastic about your partner’s good news, ask questions, pay compliments, and be each others biggest cheerleaders.
Find your ideal self, in your partner. Make a list of your personal goals and then make a list of the qualities you like most about your partner, chances are they are similar. Let your partner help you improve on those things that matter most to you. You will become more like your ideal self and in the process become closer to your partner.
Notice the new. Once we have been in a relationship for a while we stop really noticing and looking at our partner. People are always changing, so take the time to notice something new in your partner, whether it be a new shirt or a change in their values and beliefs.
Random acts of kindness. When your partner is going through a rough time don’t worry about grand gestures, focus more on doing little acts of kindness that can help make their life a little easier.
Get back in touch. Even when you don’t have the time for full blown intimacy, you can still benefit from physical closeness. A gentle touch on your partner’s neck, shoulders, and hands, increases oxytocin, a hormone that facilitates bonding, and reduces blood pressure and stress levels. Next time you want to boost your partner’s mood, give them a quick back rub.
If you find yourself struggling with keeping the fire in your relationship going, let us help you. Our Mental Heath Therapists can help you keep that fire alive!
Call us today! (813)244-1251