Lets face it, when we are angry or upset venting seems like the best thing to do. We just want to let it out and tell someone and usually it makes us feel so much better just to get it off our chest and to receive some advice. But we have all had at least one experience where we spilled our feelings just to have our listener sit there and mumble “bummer.” Sharing our feelings with someone who listens well, shows empathy, and validates our feelings, makes us feel much better afterwards.
When considering whether to share your feelings with a specific person consider the following:
Is the person a good listener? Think about whether the person has been a good listener in the past. Did they make eye contact with you, seem engaged in the conversation, make supportive comments, and avoid getting distracted or checking their phone mid-conversation?
Is the person supportive? Do they usually agree with you or take the other side? Ideally you should choose someone who will see things from your point of view, at least when you’re sad and looking for empathy.
Do they offer empathy and emotional validation? Does this person usually understand how you feel? Not only is it important for them to see your view point but also expressing it as well. When someone can validate how and why we are feeling upset or angry it has a positive impact on our state of mind.
Is the person likely to make the talk about them? Some people are quick to offer support, but also quicker to make it about them and say things like “I totally get how you feel, the same thing happened to me!” and then continue talking about their own experience. It is important to choose someone who is willing to focus on your experience and emotions.
Is the person loyal? When we are hurting we want to choose someone who will keep our trust and respect our privacy, not someone who will go tell everyone about your issues.
Sharing your feelings with others will be much more helpful if you follow these guidelines and choose the right person when you’re trying to recover from emotionally upsetting incidents. Mental Health Counselors are great individuals to confide in and receive the best advice from. They are trained and educated on how to be good listeners, supportive, and loyal.
Do you need someone to vent to and get things off your chest? Do you want someone to be there for you while you are healing from emotional upsets? Call us today! (813)244-1251